rachet.

hello@juneandmars.com

I should be driving to work. But instead I’m laying on my couch. In yesterday’s clothes. And yesterday’s lipstick, googling “how to get out of bed while you grieve the loss of your best friend.” I thought I knew what it felt like to miss someone. I didn’t. But I do now. The night before the accident, I painted a piece and called it, “there is so much I forgot to tell you.” I had no idea why it was so heavy on my heart or who it was even directed to. Now I do. I thought we had more time. “Leah and Aysia” was apart of my everyday vocab. Everything was with them. Now it’s hard to even say her name. Losing one of your FOREVER people. UGH. One of your EVERYDAY people. UGHHHHHH. I should get a diary. Or a therapist. For days like today. Day 72’s that feel like day 1’s. #unicornsdontdie

You know those days where there is a permanent lump in your throat and at any point you could completely lose your shit. And also you kind of want a hug but you also kind of don’t want to be touched and temporarily hate everyone that doesn’t understand your pain. Yeah. That. Happy Thursday 😭🤗🦄

my mars & my sun.+
#nationalsiblingday

She made sure the kids knew that her reason for flying home was just to be there for them. To see them. And to see their artwork. She made sure they knew how proud she was of both of them. She sent me a 10 page text that night making sure I knew how proud she was of me too. There’s no way to describe her love unless you’ve felt it for yourself. What have a blessing. One of the chosen ones. To feel her love so deep. I still feel it now. We talk about her everyday. The kids remind me everyday “Leah is with God and she is so so so happy there.”

“She acts just like you.”+

“Mom, do people get married here?” No, but they come here before they get married....”ewwww that’s disgusting. Do you watch them kiss?” #springbreak

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